Life is funny. First, you're born, and you know everything you need to know. Hungry? Cry, and someone will lead you to food. Want attention? Cry, and someone will fool with you. Diaper dirty? Cry, and someone will change it for you. Sick of putting up with stuff? Go to sleep. Then, you grow out of that phase. You turn into more of a person. When you start doing this, the big people want you to recognize words. They want you to mimic them, and learn how to say what you want. Crying isn't going to keep cutting it. And, they expect you to learn how to move yourself. There's a lot going on, and you've got to figure it out. By the time you can form coherent sentences (or maybe not), and you can walk upright, you find out there's more to this world, and they ship you off to school. Kindergarten, you learn how to deal with other kids, your colors, shapes, letters, and numbers. No big deal, looking back on it, but when you're new to it, it's a HUGE deal. Then comes first grade. Now they want you to learn how to put the letters together and read. You get the point, second, third, fourth, into middle school, and high school. Now, you're done learning, right? No. Now, they expect you to go to college so you can get a decent job and support yourself. No big deal, what's four more years of school? You know the basics. You can survive for a while on your own. This is just a dry run of living your life. You're a smaller fish in a bigger pond. Then, you finish college, and you're released out into the real world.
The real world. With real people. Who aren't trying to teach you, they're trying to win. They want you to know what you need to know already. Nobody has time to slow down and teach anymore. You've just spent the last 22 years preparing for the next 45. Now that you're an adult, you need to learn about responsibility - going to work, performing the tasks at hand, managing your money, keeping a home, maintaining a car, keeping your - and keeping your sanity takes on a whole new meaning. Somewhere in all of this mess, you're learning to grow as a person, too. What's paramount here is that you grow into your own person. Be who you are. This doesn't mean to be the same person you've always been. People change. People morph into their best self. Who you are at 10 isn't who you are at 13. Who you are at 13 isn't who you are at 18. Who you are at 18 isn't who you are at 21, or 25, or 30, or, well you get the picture.
So many facets to life, and you better hope you've learned enough in your time growing up to know how to keep it all in order. Take your job. It's easy to do good enough. You grew up doing good enough to keep your mom off your back. Now, you need to excel, or there are cheaper options for good enough. You may have to put in the hours you don't want to, just to get ahead a little. You might have to work with difficult people who present obstacles every time you deal with them. Get used to it. This is the real world.
What happens when you get your paycheck? Now, you need to learn how to manage it. You're going to have bills. You didn't realize that your parents had all these bills. You've got rent, house insurance, a car payment, car insurance, health insurance, a phone bill, utilities, maybe a few other expenses. Then, you realize that you still need to stock the fridge. It's hard out there. How to manage your money is a tricky situation. It's a necessary evil. Learn it, and you can be comfortable. Neglect to learn it, and you'll be fighting uphill for a long, long time.
Then, there's the big one. To me, it's the hardest lesson to learn of them all. You can't actually learn this without jumping into it. You can read all the advice columns you can find. You can talk to people who have done it. You can observe people. None of it is going to prepare you for it. Love. A simple four letter word. If you're lucky, you'll find the right person with relative ease. If not, you'll have some fun trying to find the one. The key is to always learn. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from what works. Just keep in mind what's your doing, and what's what they like. The problem with love, and relationships, is that it's not one size fits all. I think a lot of people fall into that trap. What works with one partner doesn't necessarily work with another. Heck, what you enjoy with one partner, you may not with another. Relationships are all about compatibility. You have to find the person who you can be most fluid with. Learn where you can adjust easily, and willingly, maybe even seamlessly. and pay attention to that. Find your deal breakers, and stick to them. Don't fight through them. Remember, you are who you are.
You are who you are. Except you're not. Yet. You are a work in progress. Until the day you die, you should be learning who you are, what makes you tick. It's great to have someone to discover that with you, just make sure they're along for the ride, not driving. There is nothing worse in this world than someone who tries to change you. If you get in a relationship with someone who thinks you need to change the essence of who you are, get out. If you're not good enough for them, then they're not good enough for you. The hardest part about relationships, and learning during a relationship is that you when you make a mistake, you inevitably hurt someone. It doesn't have to be the end of the road. Learn from it, improve yourself on it. But, hold true to who you are, or who you're growing into. Don't change what your values are. No matter the obstacle, you know whether you're willing to compromise on it, or if it's a potential area of growth. Learn how to say, "I'm sorry". Learn how to be selfish when you need to be. Learn how to compromise. These things will save your relationship, make your life a happy one, and it will make you a better person.
